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Accepting the Challenges of a Repeat Divorce

It isn’t necessarily easier going through a difficult experience again. To be sure, as the philosopher Nietzsche once said, if something doesn’t kill you it can make you stronger. But sometimes, when you’re facing your second divorce, or even a third, you have to be really strong.

This is as true in a divorce in Oakland County and elsewhere in Southeast Michigan as it is anywhere else.

Of course, some couples try to protect themselves in advance from the challenges of a repeat divorce by working out pre-nuptial agreements.

But for many divorcing couples, a second or subsequent divorce can present some very specific challenges. In particular, the finances of a repeat divorce often call for close scrutiny.

In part, this is because splitting retirement accounts again and creating two separate households carries a financial price. This may be a price that you’re ultimately willing to pay, in order to once again move on with your life. It’s important, however, to approach this with open eyes and be realistic about how another divorce will affect your finances.

For example, selling a house may be hard, given the state of the real estate market. Selling it for the amount you need may be even harder.

Or, if you have children from more than one marriage, you may have more than one child support payment to make.

Statistically, the numbers say that people who have already been divorced are more likely to get divorced again than those who are marrying for the first time. Indeed, the data show that about two of every three second marriage end in divorce. This compares to a rate of about fifty percent for first marriages.

Don’t be daunted by this data, if you are determined to get a second or subsequent divorce. But be prepared to deal with the challenges – and, in doing so, get emotionally stronger.

Source: “Second divorces multiply the cost and the pain,” Reuters, Geoff Williams, 7-12-12