Divorce is often thought of in the context of a sporting event, military battle, or other type of power struggle. In that frame of reference there must be a winner and a loser. Time has shown that people will expend a tremendous amount of resources on legal representation in order to make sure that they’re the winner and their spouse is one of the greatest divorce losers of all-time.
Sadly this all misses an overlooked point about divorce: there are no winners in divorce.
Now, don’t draw the conclusion that no one should ever stand up for their rights and pursue them to the fullest extent of the law. There are valid reasons for pursuing a litigated outcome in a divorce despite the financial and emotional costs; each situation is different. For example, disagreements over an asset worth six figures or more, or ensuring that a workable co-parenting plan is in place are worth fighting for.
The point to be made here is that fighting for the sake of fighting, or simply out of spite, will do nothing to aid either party in a divorce. On top of the financial toll it takes on both spouses, it can cause long-lasting emotional damage to any children who find themselves caught in the middle.
If you have been served divorce papers or are considering filing for divorce, ask yourself the following questions:
- Where am I willing to find common ground with my spouse?
- What issues are my “hill to die on”?
Going into a divorce with a clear idea of what you hope to achieve, combined with the help of an experienced family law attorney, can set you on the right track.