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Could your divorce goal(s) end up hurting you?

Divorce is one of the most emotional times in a person’s life. Some feel numb as they go through the process, simply signing whatever papers are placed in front of them. Others may have a little more awareness and be able to set a goal (or goals); for example, for the divorce to proceed as speedily as possible and for the children to witness as little fighting as possible.

Often, these goals are noble. However, they could end up hurting you and your loved ones in the long term. Here is an overview of some ways how.

Speedy divorce

A speedy divorce means fewer conflicts and you can begin to move on with your life sooner rather than later. However, opting for a quick resolution could come at the expense of issues such as fair division of marital property and debt, and child custody. You could end up having to pay unfair amounts in spousal support.

No fighting in front of the children

Divorce can wreck a parent’s emotional state. For example, a parent who appeared well-balanced may start to alienate children from you, throw outrageous accusations your way and initiate fights in front of the children in a way that makes them seem like your fault. It is not fair for children to have to witness such displays, so it makes sense that you might give in to demands such as full custody if that means the fighting and accusations stop. Unfortunately, the concession might only serve to deepen the alienation.

Excessive compensation

Perhaps you feel as if you did wrong. Maybe there was an affair, a gambling problem, a job loss, something like that, and you feel as if the divorce is your fault. Because of that, you want to go out of your way to excessively compensate your ex. You are okay if he or she gets custody of the kids, the house and the car. However, in the long term, your children lose out on time with both parents, and you have a long uphill climb to go if you find yourself living in challenging conditions.

One way to ensure your emotions do not get the best of you in a divorce is to retain an attorney who will act as your advocate.