Worried that your marriage is heading for divorce? Maybe you already feel like it’s coming. Maybe you know that divorce is common and, even though your marriage feels pretty stable, you worry about what may happen. Maybe you know other people who got divorced, even though you thought it wouldn’t happen to them, and now you’re wondering if it could happen to you, too.
First and foremost, every relationship is different. What causes one couple to split up does not have the same impact on another. Divorce comes at different ages. It comes before and after having children. Your relationship is unique. Keep that in mind.
Even so, it can help to look at some of the main reasons people get divorced. These can act as predictors for your own divorce. If you see these red flags in your relationship, they could mean you will end it sooner rather than later. Some of the top issues are:
- You and your spouse do not have the same expectations for the marriage. This guarantees that one of you is going to feel unfulfilled.
- Your level of affection drops off considerably. It’s natural not to feel the same way that you did when you started dating after you’ve been together for 10 years, but a massive drop can spell divorce.
- You have issues with money. This leads to stress. Financial issues are especially likely to lead to divorce when they are primarily caused by one person — a spouse with a gambling or drinking problem, for instance.
- You can’t communicate well. Many experts agree that communication is at the heart of a strong marriage.
- One of you struggles with addiction. You may end up putting the addiction ahead of the marriage or, as noted above, it could lead to financial problems.
- You do not trust each other. This can add stress to the relationship and cause fights and disagreements when there is no need at all.
- You have different feelings about starting a family. Maybe you want children and your spouse does not. Something has to give, and it may be the marriage.
- You don’t like any of the same things. You struggle to find ways to spend time together. You end up spending all of your time individually.
- One of you is too critical of the other. This can eventually make it feel like any conversation is just a chance for one person to be critical or judgmental.
These are just a few reasons divorce happens, and it’s worth looking for these red flags in your marriage. If you do get divorced, that’s when you need to know about all of the legal rights that you have and what steps you can take.